G minus 13

What a hectic few days this has been!

I expected packing up and closing off my private clients to be not quite as hectic as they turned out to be, and can only breathe a sigh of relief that the clients are over with except to be paid for my efforts, and the packing up is more or less completed for the major items.

To officially mark the end of my sojourn in Kingston, I went out to dinner with my closest female friends in Kingston.  There are only two of them, as such it was a small but enjoyable dinner that was had.  Of course, in keeping with the tradition G and I established, we went to have sushi, because that is what we do when he is leaving for Canada.  Now that I am the one doing the leaving, my friends and I did the same.

Along with dinner, I left my friends with small tokens to keep as reminders of me.  For one, a small book of practical advice for every woman; for the other, a book journal to record all the books she is reading, from one reader to another.  I will be able to look back and say, how cool was it that we could do that?  Very cool.

Tonight is my last night in this apartment, tomorrow night I fall asleep in my mother's house.  I have lived here for 19 months, and of all the addresses I had in Kingston, it will remain my favourite.  No, it wasn't the best apartment, but it certainly was the most conveniently located, and the one I felt safest going to and from.  I had the least issues here, and really few things annoyed me, and now they are of no consequence.  I am looking forward to my new address, but will remember this one fondly.

I am moving again.  In the eighteen years since I became an adult (legally, anyhow), I have had twice as many addresses as I did in the previous eighteen years.  I am obviously something of a rolling stone.  I have always been willing to pull up stakes and move to the next place in the hope that I will find something better than obtained in the last place.  In some cases, it was work, in other cases it was quality of life.

One more appointment and some bill paying tomorrow, then off to the West!

G minus 17

My colleagues gave me a send-off party yesterday.  It was so unexpected, it came as a complete surprise.  By dint of some slick manoeuvres, they got me out of the office so they could get the decorations and cake into the meeting room, which is located directly behind my cubicle.  I even walked past the team members who chose the card they all signed while they paid for it and was not one bit the wiser.

I was astonished, and honestly have never had a nicer send-off.  Considering that I have worked with them for the shortest period I have ever been employed full-time, it speaks to the quality of the team spirit at this particular place that they felt it was necessary to do this for me.  I was not the least bit reluctant to give the expected "speech" and spent it praising them individually and collectively for the welcome, the training, the encouragement and the camaraderie I was so fortunate to experience.

So, now we're at G minus 17, as a clever friend of ours described it, a description I was pleased to adopt.  I am going fully into moving mode now.  I hope to get a few boxes to start packing away my books, and I will pack away all the clothes I won't wear in the following week and those I don't plan to take with me.  I need to have my spaces clear so I can begin cleaning them down.  I intend for cleaning to be a multi-day project rather than a one or two day event, as I will be scattering some appointments through the various days.

One such appointment is to see a dermatologist.  While I am fortunate enough to be married to a man who literally loves me "warts and all", I have long wrestled with self-consciousness over those on my face and neck and have decided to have them dealt with.  I think it's appropriate that I start my new phase in life with a fresh look, and not carry some of the image issues I have had here with me.  This treatment is unlikely to rid me of all of them, but at the least the most obvious ones will go.  There are some that look like freckles, I find those unremarkable and do not care if they remain.

Another appointment is to see to my bank account, as I have some monthly commitments attached to it that I need to sign paperwork for it to cease.  Not looking forward to that, getting service at my branch involves waiting for an hour to be seen for 10 minutes.  I will be staying with the same bank in Canada, and plan to keep this account open to do any business necessary in Jamaica.

So, on with the show!

Immersion and Miss Marple

I have been on my "immersion" therapy for my transition to Canada for a couple of weeks now.  I read the news every day on CBC's website, I also catch the odd article or editorial from other newspapers online when they catch my eye on the news stream on our website's Home page or Social Lounge page.

The sheer size of the country guarantees something is going on somewhere, so it's impossible to keep track of all that is happening.  I find myself sticking with news from around Ontario, and trying to get a hang of the various levels of government and how they interact and function.  I have a ways to go, getting to actually having the hang of that, I think.

One thing that is at least looking familiar, though.  Some weeks ago my eye caught on an article reporting on meetings of the Public Accounts Committee.  Since what I do now has direct relation to that, I read the article, and since then have become hooked on following this story.  I have come to an inescapable conclusion now, since following these articles, that there is at least one thing I will have no trouble recognising: government operations!

Yup, doesn't matter where you are in the world, there is nothing like an Auditor General's report for embarrassing non-compliant government ministers and their ministries, and no excuses so lame as the ones propounded for these failures, and no employees so apologetic as the low-level staffers about to be thrown under the bus for carrying out the orders of higher-ups.  I could have been reading a report from the PAC here in Jamaica, all I had to do was substitute names.

I read a lot of Dame Agatha Christie's Miss Marple mysteries, and one of the constants of Miss Marple is her firm conviction that people are the same no matter where you are.  She believed that experience in one place can hold you steady somewhere else, as long as you let yourself see the patterns in human behaviour.  The names will change, but the actions and reactions are the same.  I am seeing how right she is, and now I feel one step closer to confidence and a step further away from worry that I will not acquit myself well in EL.  People really are the same, no matter where you meet them.

I will be honest, it feels like time has got roller-skates on after crawling along for months!  I have a long list of things to sort out to be ready to leave and at first it seemed like the time we allowed ourselves was more than enough.  But since last week the days have been speeding along, and as I tick things off the list one by one, I feel the time looming ahead.  Not looming in an ominous sense, but as if I should have allowed myself more and this is not enough and everything that needs to won't get done!  Meh, I am sure it will be all done.

I am just feeling weird, I guess.  I cancelled my utilities yesterday, and today I give my landlord notice.  I feel like I am chopping loose all my "mooring lines", all the things that keep me anchored to my life as I know it, and that I will float far away to a place I don't know and a life I don't know and it's all very scary for someone who has tried to maintain a lot of control over her life.

I know I made these choices, but somehow that is not comforting all of my fear away.  I am trying to take things one step at a time, so I don't feel like I am losing control, but it is harder than I thought not to be scared.  I'm not afraid  of what life will be like with G in Canada, I suspect it won't be all that different from what life is like with G in Jamaica, in terms of our routines and the things we do.  While the general outline will be the same, all the details will be different, and that I suppose is what is causing my fears.

It won't be doing groceries at Michi's, or Brooklyn Supermarket..it will be groceries at...hmm, I don't know the name of the supermarket.  I don't know the name of the pharmacy where I will get my supplies.  I know our house, and where it is and what inside looks like, it's everything around it that I know very little about.

I have decided to start watching a lot of Canadian TV, because I do get some channels here.  I need to immerse myself in Canadian things as much as I can, so I will be used to it already to some extent, so when I flip the TV on, the shows and the news anchors I see will not be utterly unfamiliar.  I'm also getting in the frame of mind of living with my husband again, so it will be natural to have others in the house after almost a year of living alone again.  I'm sure I'll think of more things I can do to mitigate these feelings as the day goes on.

Got it!

I picked up my passport today, complete with immigrant visa.  Wow, OK, now I'm excited.  I get to go home to my husband! YES!! I want to laugh, and cry, and sigh in relief that this part of the journey, 14 months in the traveling, is now over.

I started the next phase of the journey, which will be much shorter, by handing in my resignation today.  I have resigned from five jobs in my career to date, and this was the only one I ever regretted handing in.  All my other jobs I knew it was time to walk away, for one reason or another.  This one...it will be hard to go.  I have been learning, it is a good team, and they have all expressed happiness for me, but it only makes it harder to leave them, seeing them so happy for me although I leave them.

The next 5 weeks will be concentrated around packing up and getting ready to move back to Westmoreland.  There's not much to pack up, but what there is needs to be boxed up and wrapped up where necessary.  They have things arranged on that side, my Mom and brother, so it's just for me to be ready for them when they get here.  Next week I give notice to my landlord and the utility companies, and purchase wrapping and maybe get some boxes for my books.  Or maybe one of those barrels...if one can be had this side of the Atlantic, LOL.

Once back in Westmoreland, it's a week and a half to spend with Mom, just be at home, and then off to be with G.  Wow, OK, I'm excited!!

Almost there...

I fully expected to be writing this post next week, but here I am, writing it tonight.  The High Commission called today, my visa is ready, I can collect my passport next Tuesday.  Wow!  One month I am coasting along and nothing much is happening and I am counting time in months...next month things are happening in the snap of a finger and I am counting in weeks and days!

My tickets are booked, G got those done this week.  Arrangements are being made for my Mom and brother to collect me and my belongings from Kingston and return us to Westmoreland, but those are yet to be finalized apart from the date.  My Grandmother will be here to see me off, and I am very happy about that.

Wow, I hear a clock ticking.  I am excited, at last.  I cannot wait to be home with my husband, I am excited by the idea that we will wake up together again and neither he nor I will have to leave each other, except for work.   It has been quite a wait, and our separation these past months means we have a lot of time to make for.  I plan to take at least a couple of weeks to do nothing more than live with my husband, enjoy all the little things we have been missing, and acclimatize to my new environment.

Back to waiting

It'll be a week tomorrow since I turned in my PP to the High Commission for the insertion of my permanent resident visa.  I estimate another 1-2 weeks wait for them to get around to doing so and contacting me to return to pick it up, since this past week included two statutory holidays.

In the meanwhile, I finally began making all those lists I needed to make to guide my activities over the coming weeks as I prepare to move.  First, I prepared a list of the lists I needed to prepare.  Yes, I am mildly OCD about the lists, I suppose I could have just leaped into the process, but first I wanted to ensure I was considering everything I needed to do.  I then proceeded to mis-place that list and give myself a mild panic attack as I searched for it, believing I simply had to find THAT ONE rather than make a new one.  I did eventually relocate it, but my BP did spike there for about half an hour.

So I found the list of lists, and began making each list.  I have so far fleshed out lists on the clothes I will be taking with me, what furniture I own and how I will dispose of them, what books from my collection I plan to take with me, what happens to my kitchen things, who in Canada I plan to purchase souvenirs for, what I need to do regarding my lease and utilities, and what I will do regarding my various work commitments. *whew*  I have a lot to do!

Still, there is time, as I am allowing work commitments to dictate most of my movements.  I want to leave with a clear work record, I have worked hard for the trust clients and employers put in me, I want to ensure that when I go, they keep a good memory of me, and that if needed they are willing to recommend me to new employers in Canada.

In the meanwhile, I am also spending time with family and friends and Jamaica as much as possible.  This weekend I managed to get in time with my closest friend in Kingston, drive around the north and south coasts of Jamaica, and spend valuable time with my Mom and younger brother in Negril.  I needed this time, I enjoyed my activities without the parting sadness I know will accompany my next trip to Westmoreland.