It's Labour Day today in Canada, same in the United States. As surely as May 24 Weekend/Victoria Day (Canada) and Memorial Day (US) mark the "beginning" of summer, so does this day mark its "end" in both countries. Mind you, there's another three or so weeks left in the actual season as it relates to the Earth's settings, the autumnal equinox falls on September 23rd this year.
Children are either heading back to school this week, or are already there in some cases. Back-to-school shopping is the major expense for parents around this time, and children contemplate whether they are happy or sad that their holidays are over. In Jamaica, it is time for adults to throw around the particularly odious phrase (or, at least, it was to me when I was a student), "Free paypa bun!" (Your free papers are burnt). It used to imply to me that school was some sort of prison your parents sent you to, one of which you were particularly deserving, if for no other reason than you were under-aged and someone else was in charge of your life. Well, joke was on them. I loved school, and looked forward to returning.
This particular summer was less than halcyon, though. Aside from the two weeks we spent in Jamaica, the temperature never rose above 30 *C on consecutive days. I found it particularly offensive this year to hear people complain about how "hot" it was. I might have thought that two years into living in northern ON I would be immune to such statements by now, but indeed my resentment was much worse this year. "Honestly, we have seven months of winter/cold weather, is that not enough for you?", I wonder. I guess some people would complain no matter what kind of weather we have. I find it alarming to realise that several days found me wearing layers, long sleeves, and even sweaters, with temperatures averaging around 10 *C below seasonal averages.
The last three days have been rainy, and grey. I was unable to take Nipper for a long walk yesterday, as much of the day it poured with heavy rains. Towards late afternoon the rain and clouds did clear and let in some sunshine, but this morning was heavily overcast, and the rain started again this afternoon. We managed to get in our weekday half-hour walk this morning, but I spent a lot of it looking at the skies and hoping they wouldn't open up on us while we were still some way from home.
I am hoping that we get a late summer heatwave, the mythical "Indian summer", but I am not holding my breath. All the signs are pointing to a swiftly-coming, long, cold winter. Indeed, there were trees sporting fall colours by the end of July!
Fall is bringing with it new challenges for me, and I am very hopeful that meeting these challenges will take me in new directions. I have been working on getting back into waking early, and will need this "ability" even more as the month of September progresses. The daylight periods will continue shortening, but my "days" will be even longer, and I will need full energy and enthusiasm to take them on.
If summer was only about hot weather and wearing less clothing, I would say I didn't have much of one. As it is also about a break from routine and getting ready for new things, then I will say I had quite the summer, short though it was.
Showing posts with label new beginnings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label new beginnings. Show all posts
Monday, September 1, 2014
Friday, July 20, 2012
Challenges
This isn't easy to do, you know. It's a huge undertaking, to move your entire life to a new country and settle somewhere completely different from what you've known all your life until then. However, it's obvious from looking at human history that immigration is do-able, and not only have people endured it for millennia, they have thrived on it, too.
I still find time for the immigration forum. At first I was sure that once arrived in Canada I would have no time for it, but the truth is that the subject interests me, quite apart from my own personal experience. I follow it avidly in the news: whatever changes Canada makes to its immigration regulations may impact us one way or another, or someone I know. I want to stay informed, and I want to pass on to others what I know so they can navigate these waters too.
What I see sometimes on the forum from others who have completed their processing is that their period of adjustment is harder than they expected, and the couples must work really hard to overcome the challenges arising from being together all the time. Some of these couples never spent any appreciable time living together in Jamaica, and others have. Some have even lived together in Canada before. Still, there is a period of adjustment after the immigration process is complete that calls on them to remember their commitment to each other and why they made this choice in the first place.
Our challenge comes in the form of G's health. He is used to navigating the Canadian health system, I am not. It is routine to him to endure monthly, weekly or random treatments as necessary for his health condition. He knows the nurses, the doctors, the hospitals. I do not. So, of course, I have to ask him questions that might seem redundant or perhaps ridiculous, and I have to observe closely everything that happens to him to understand what is going on.
Given that he hates the treatments, although he has endured them for the better part of a decade now, and given that he will need them for the rest of his natural life unless some miracle cure is found for his body's persistent rejection of the iron necessary to form his lifeblood, I expected he would be more resigned, so to speak to his treatments. Instead, he resents each one as if it is the first, as if the "weakness" that results is a fresh, unforeseen betrayal of what he expects from himself and he does not understand why things are the way they are.
Perhaps it is the Jamaican in me that fatalistically expects struggle and believes one should simply forge ahead once hard times are encountered , grim-faced and with gritted teeth perhaps, but always accepting that things are as they are quickly and moving to with dealing with them. Or perhaps it is some other part of my heritage manifesting itself. Whatever it is, something in me becomes exasperated at his railing at his body and his illness, and simply wants to press on and deal with it as best as possible.
Then I think to myself about how I felt about my asthma when it was worse, and I rein in my feelings and try to walk more in his shoes. I hated the occasional betrayal of my body that was every attack, no matter how mild. Yet I had lived with asthma since I was nine years old, surely I should have been used to it! I acknowledge then that I need to empathise more, to see more of his reactions in myself, and it makes me ashamed of my impatience with his reactions and I allow that he has full as much reason as I ever did, and quite likely more, to feel as he does.
It is this empathy that I will need to cultivate and draw on more if we are to deal successfully with all the challenges that will come in this settling in period. I may be the one who did the moving, but we are both adjusting and sometimes I have to consciously remind myself of this and use it to examine his actions and my reactions and vice versa.
Challenges are a part of any marriage. No matter how well-suited and how compatible they might be, every couple is two very different halves working to be one whole, happy unit. Add the stresses of life and the choices we make such as immigration, and the mettle of any relationship can be tested and pushed beyond anything the couple themselves might have expected. With this in mind, I remind myself, daily if need be, that when all is said and done, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else but by his side, so I will always work at gaining all the skills and qualities I need to meet him in his own efforts to secure the strength and happiness of our union.
I still find time for the immigration forum. At first I was sure that once arrived in Canada I would have no time for it, but the truth is that the subject interests me, quite apart from my own personal experience. I follow it avidly in the news: whatever changes Canada makes to its immigration regulations may impact us one way or another, or someone I know. I want to stay informed, and I want to pass on to others what I know so they can navigate these waters too.
What I see sometimes on the forum from others who have completed their processing is that their period of adjustment is harder than they expected, and the couples must work really hard to overcome the challenges arising from being together all the time. Some of these couples never spent any appreciable time living together in Jamaica, and others have. Some have even lived together in Canada before. Still, there is a period of adjustment after the immigration process is complete that calls on them to remember their commitment to each other and why they made this choice in the first place.
Our challenge comes in the form of G's health. He is used to navigating the Canadian health system, I am not. It is routine to him to endure monthly, weekly or random treatments as necessary for his health condition. He knows the nurses, the doctors, the hospitals. I do not. So, of course, I have to ask him questions that might seem redundant or perhaps ridiculous, and I have to observe closely everything that happens to him to understand what is going on.
Given that he hates the treatments, although he has endured them for the better part of a decade now, and given that he will need them for the rest of his natural life unless some miracle cure is found for his body's persistent rejection of the iron necessary to form his lifeblood, I expected he would be more resigned, so to speak to his treatments. Instead, he resents each one as if it is the first, as if the "weakness" that results is a fresh, unforeseen betrayal of what he expects from himself and he does not understand why things are the way they are.
Perhaps it is the Jamaican in me that fatalistically expects struggle and believes one should simply forge ahead once hard times are encountered , grim-faced and with gritted teeth perhaps, but always accepting that things are as they are quickly and moving to with dealing with them. Or perhaps it is some other part of my heritage manifesting itself. Whatever it is, something in me becomes exasperated at his railing at his body and his illness, and simply wants to press on and deal with it as best as possible.
Then I think to myself about how I felt about my asthma when it was worse, and I rein in my feelings and try to walk more in his shoes. I hated the occasional betrayal of my body that was every attack, no matter how mild. Yet I had lived with asthma since I was nine years old, surely I should have been used to it! I acknowledge then that I need to empathise more, to see more of his reactions in myself, and it makes me ashamed of my impatience with his reactions and I allow that he has full as much reason as I ever did, and quite likely more, to feel as he does.
It is this empathy that I will need to cultivate and draw on more if we are to deal successfully with all the challenges that will come in this settling in period. I may be the one who did the moving, but we are both adjusting and sometimes I have to consciously remind myself of this and use it to examine his actions and my reactions and vice versa.
Challenges are a part of any marriage. No matter how well-suited and how compatible they might be, every couple is two very different halves working to be one whole, happy unit. Add the stresses of life and the choices we make such as immigration, and the mettle of any relationship can be tested and pushed beyond anything the couple themselves might have expected. With this in mind, I remind myself, daily if need be, that when all is said and done, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else but by his side, so I will always work at gaining all the skills and qualities I need to meet him in his own efforts to secure the strength and happiness of our union.
Thursday, April 26, 2012
I will be honest, it feels like time has got roller-skates on after crawling along for months! I have a long list of things to sort out to be ready to leave and at first it seemed like the time we allowed ourselves was more than enough. But since last week the days have been speeding along, and as I tick things off the list one by one, I feel the time looming ahead. Not looming in an ominous sense, but as if I should have allowed myself more and this is not enough and everything that needs to won't get done! Meh, I am sure it will be all done.
I am just feeling weird, I guess. I cancelled my utilities yesterday, and today I give my landlord notice. I feel like I am chopping loose all my "mooring lines", all the things that keep me anchored to my life as I know it, and that I will float far away to a place I don't know and a life I don't know and it's all very scary for someone who has tried to maintain a lot of control over her life.
I know I made these choices, but somehow that is not comforting all of my fear away. I am trying to take things one step at a time, so I don't feel like I am losing control, but it is harder than I thought not to be scared. I'm not afraid of what life will be like with G in Canada, I suspect it won't be all that different from what life is like with G in Jamaica, in terms of our routines and the things we do. While the general outline will be the same, all the details will be different, and that I suppose is what is causing my fears.
It won't be doing groceries at Michi's, or Brooklyn Supermarket..it will be groceries at...hmm, I don't know the name of the supermarket. I don't know the name of the pharmacy where I will get my supplies. I know our house, and where it is and what inside looks like, it's everything around it that I know very little about.
I have decided to start watching a lot of Canadian TV, because I do get some channels here. I need to immerse myself in Canadian things as much as I can, so I will be used to it already to some extent, so when I flip the TV on, the shows and the news anchors I see will not be utterly unfamiliar. I'm also getting in the frame of mind of living with my husband again, so it will be natural to have others in the house after almost a year of living alone again. I'm sure I'll think of more things I can do to mitigate these feelings as the day goes on.
Friday, April 13, 2012
Almost there...
I fully expected to be writing this post next week, but here I am, writing it tonight. The High Commission called today, my visa is ready, I can collect my passport next Tuesday. Wow! One month I am coasting along and nothing much is happening and I am counting time in months...next month things are happening in the snap of a finger and I am counting in weeks and days!
My tickets are booked, G got those done this week. Arrangements are being made for my Mom and brother to collect me and my belongings from Kingston and return us to Westmoreland, but those are yet to be finalized apart from the date. My Grandmother will be here to see me off, and I am very happy about that.
Wow, I hear a clock ticking. I am excited, at last. I cannot wait to be home with my husband, I am excited by the idea that we will wake up together again and neither he nor I will have to leave each other, except for work. It has been quite a wait, and our separation these past months means we have a lot of time to make for. I plan to take at least a couple of weeks to do nothing more than live with my husband, enjoy all the little things we have been missing, and acclimatize to my new environment.
My tickets are booked, G got those done this week. Arrangements are being made for my Mom and brother to collect me and my belongings from Kingston and return us to Westmoreland, but those are yet to be finalized apart from the date. My Grandmother will be here to see me off, and I am very happy about that.
Wow, I hear a clock ticking. I am excited, at last. I cannot wait to be home with my husband, I am excited by the idea that we will wake up together again and neither he nor I will have to leave each other, except for work. It has been quite a wait, and our separation these past months means we have a lot of time to make for. I plan to take at least a couple of weeks to do nothing more than live with my husband, enjoy all the little things we have been missing, and acclimatize to my new environment.
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Do over
Well, I hadn't quite expected to be writing this post quite so soon after getting that "in process" update, but in the mailbox today was a grayish envelope with "Canada" and the little maple leaf motif on it, and inside were documents requesting I do my medical examination and police record (again). I am honestly astonished. The letters are dated Feb 21, and the in process update says they began processing the information on Feb 20. The envelope is post-marked Feb 22, and sometime between yesterday and today it arrived in my mailbox. Wow.
Of course, all this marvelous efficiency is not without its faults. They addressed the letters to me as Mrs. (insert maiden name). This, after I sent them a copy of my new passport with my assumed married name and after I completed a new personal information form with said new last name and sent to them, 6 and 3 months ago respectively. Really?
I am going to hope that the Tax Department does not get pissy with me when I go to pay for my fingerprints to be done, given that the forms are issued to Mrs. (insert maiden name) and I am Mrs. (insert married name) nee (insert maiden name) on my ID and taxpayer registration. Just in case, I have decided to take along my marriage certificate and the passport with my former name to show to them, so they don't give me a hard time. Caught between the ridiculousness of two bureaucracies!
So, now I need to book an appointment to see the doctor, I need to get time off from work to deal with the police certificate and said medical, and I need to prove I have not been to the US since 2010, in order not to have to go through the rigmarole of getting another FBI certificate.
Suddenly it dawns on me, now that events have started moving, that soon I will be moving my whole life. I just posted something on FB referring to us as being at the end, and my perceptive hubby posted that we are actually nearing the beginning. A new beginning is coming, and it's no longer on the horizon, it is in port and coming in to dock. Wow, I've got a lot to do!
12 weeks to the beginning of June...I need to have myself set to leave by then, that's my timeline.
Of course, all this marvelous efficiency is not without its faults. They addressed the letters to me as Mrs. (insert maiden name). This, after I sent them a copy of my new passport with my assumed married name and after I completed a new personal information form with said new last name and sent to them, 6 and 3 months ago respectively. Really?
I am going to hope that the Tax Department does not get pissy with me when I go to pay for my fingerprints to be done, given that the forms are issued to Mrs. (insert maiden name) and I am Mrs. (insert married name) nee (insert maiden name) on my ID and taxpayer registration. Just in case, I have decided to take along my marriage certificate and the passport with my former name to show to them, so they don't give me a hard time. Caught between the ridiculousness of two bureaucracies!
So, now I need to book an appointment to see the doctor, I need to get time off from work to deal with the police certificate and said medical, and I need to prove I have not been to the US since 2010, in order not to have to go through the rigmarole of getting another FBI certificate.
Suddenly it dawns on me, now that events have started moving, that soon I will be moving my whole life. I just posted something on FB referring to us as being at the end, and my perceptive hubby posted that we are actually nearing the beginning. A new beginning is coming, and it's no longer on the horizon, it is in port and coming in to dock. Wow, I've got a lot to do!
12 weeks to the beginning of June...I need to have myself set to leave by then, that's my timeline.
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