A recurring theme in the immigration forum lately has been the failure of relationships due to the stresses and strains put on the relationships by the immigration process.
The distance between spouses can be enormous sometimes, and it can be compounded by the inevitable misunderstandings generated by not being able to see someone or hear their intonations when communicating via telephone and email. I have been determined that we will avoid such pitfalls by learning from the hard lessons of others.
G and I mainly use computer methods, i.e. MSN and the Social Lounge (chat room function) of our website. He has never been fond of the telephone since I've known him, and I tend mainly to use it as a track-him-down method when the other two fail to get a response. Earlier in the year it was also a habit to call him and wish him a good day first thing in the morning before leaving for work, but since being self-employed I have not done so.
What with my working more-or-less regular hours lately, and him working not-so-regular ones on the website, it can sometimes be hard to make time for each other. While we are in contact via the Social Lounge, it's hardly possible for such conversations to be intimate or personal, as others are observing or participating. In recognition of that, and the feeling of deprivation I had been feeling lately, I requested that we set aside time just to talk one on one via video messaging.
I have a horror of the 2,000 miles between us currently manifesting itself in tangible ways such as arguments or, worse, complete silence. As my best friend, I turn to him to rant, discuss or just talk about things, and I need to know we can still do that with no-one else around. Last night we turned the cameras on, turned the websites off, and just talked for a bit, especially about our furry children. I watched him bottle feed the Jack Russell terrier puppy and play with the Great Dane "adolescent" as he calls her. It was good just to be doing nothing more than being together.
As the time wears on, we know nothing about the processing of our application, how far along it is, what remains to be done, nothing. We can only wait. More than anything, it's important to me that we keep our marriage working as best we can while we wait. We have to do things together and spend time together alone. We've been apart for going on 3 months now, and don't know when again we'll be together, so our efforts towards spending time together have to be conscious and planned to prevent the literal distance between us growing into emotional distance. We made this choice to go through this immigration process, I won't be one of those people blaming it for a failing relationship.
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
My Immigration peeves
I've been at this Immigration website/forum for about 10 months now since G found it and told me to check to see if I could get help there with preparing our application.
I did find a lot of help, there are actual immigration consultants who take the time to offer advice for free to users, and I read a lot of the experiences of others and used them to my advantage. I didn't restrict myself to just the forum thread for applicants going through the embassy in Kingston either, I would read threads for many of the other embassies, especially the US (Buffalo, NY), UK (London, England) and India (New Delhi). I would also read topic-specific threads started by other posters on various issues they encountered.
On the upside to this forum membership, aside from the help with application preparation, I also made a couple good friends in the wives of Jamaican applicants. Their applications were successful in 2009 and early 2011, and I actually met one of the couples in person. These women are close in age to me, we share many of the same views, and I give them the Jamaican wife's experience in exchange for learning about the Canadian wife's experience from them.
There have been some ambivalent experiences though, and these represent a real downside at times, so much so that I often have to reconsider my membership in the forum when the downside weighs heavily on me.
One of these experiences was the acquisition of a stalker. This cyber-troll puts on a face of piety and righteousness to other members of the forum, but attacks like the veriest virago when she considers herself wronged. She set her sights on me, and attacked me via private messages, and I realised to my horror I had given her access to personal information via Facebook. I corrected the situation, but even now the fear hovers in my mind that she might try some type of "poison pen" attack on our application, which are not unheard of at the visa posts. I am sure we can overcome any such attack if she tries it, I kept my messages and can prove I did not initiate anything, but still it can and has complicated and delayed the process for others similarly attacked.
Another ambivalent experience has been watching others who applied after us be approved before us. It is not unusual for Indian, British and American applicants to be approved in 3-4 months, so a number of applicants of these nationalities have already completed the process despite applying after us, while the visa office in Kingston is still apparently dealing with applications from December 2010.
It's hard not to feel discriminated against when you sit and wait for months, perhaps a year or more, and watch others who came after you being approved first, getting on with their lives together while you wait. What makes the wait worst is you get minimal information from the embassy on the processing of your application. They will tell you via their client system that it is received, it is in process, your medical results have been received and a decision has been made, same as happens for these other nationalities, but with Kingston you have NO idea how long each of these stages will last. For the Indians, Brits and Americans, the stages last for days and weeks, not months on end. If you request information on the processing of your application, you receive responses that range from terse to curt to outright rude. There is no standard of service applicable everywhere, yet all spousal immigrants and their sponsors pay the same fees.
Another thing that makes the quick processing of some persons harder to take, is they still feel they have a right to moan about the length of the process. Really? You're surrounded by people separated from their spouses for months at a time, sometimes even as much as a year or more, and yet waiting 3 or 4 months is the end of your endurance? It smacks of a sense of entitlement that is an affront to those like myself who have to endure long separations. What makes it even worse is that many of the visa-exempt couples (those with British, German, Australian and American partners, among others) can actually reside together in Canada while their processing is being completed, so they are not separated AT ALL. So far as I am concerned, that means your right to complain about the process has been rescinded utterly and completely. Sit down and shut up.
On the other hand, there are those whose processing can last for more than a year, sometimes as much as two years, and they also moan about the process. While I am full cognisant of how hard it can be to be separated from your spouse, there are a few points that make it impossible for me to sympathise with these folks for too long:
I did find a lot of help, there are actual immigration consultants who take the time to offer advice for free to users, and I read a lot of the experiences of others and used them to my advantage. I didn't restrict myself to just the forum thread for applicants going through the embassy in Kingston either, I would read threads for many of the other embassies, especially the US (Buffalo, NY), UK (London, England) and India (New Delhi). I would also read topic-specific threads started by other posters on various issues they encountered.
On the upside to this forum membership, aside from the help with application preparation, I also made a couple good friends in the wives of Jamaican applicants. Their applications were successful in 2009 and early 2011, and I actually met one of the couples in person. These women are close in age to me, we share many of the same views, and I give them the Jamaican wife's experience in exchange for learning about the Canadian wife's experience from them.
There have been some ambivalent experiences though, and these represent a real downside at times, so much so that I often have to reconsider my membership in the forum when the downside weighs heavily on me.
One of these experiences was the acquisition of a stalker. This cyber-troll puts on a face of piety and righteousness to other members of the forum, but attacks like the veriest virago when she considers herself wronged. She set her sights on me, and attacked me via private messages, and I realised to my horror I had given her access to personal information via Facebook. I corrected the situation, but even now the fear hovers in my mind that she might try some type of "poison pen" attack on our application, which are not unheard of at the visa posts. I am sure we can overcome any such attack if she tries it, I kept my messages and can prove I did not initiate anything, but still it can and has complicated and delayed the process for others similarly attacked.
Another ambivalent experience has been watching others who applied after us be approved before us. It is not unusual for Indian, British and American applicants to be approved in 3-4 months, so a number of applicants of these nationalities have already completed the process despite applying after us, while the visa office in Kingston is still apparently dealing with applications from December 2010.
It's hard not to feel discriminated against when you sit and wait for months, perhaps a year or more, and watch others who came after you being approved first, getting on with their lives together while you wait. What makes the wait worst is you get minimal information from the embassy on the processing of your application. They will tell you via their client system that it is received, it is in process, your medical results have been received and a decision has been made, same as happens for these other nationalities, but with Kingston you have NO idea how long each of these stages will last. For the Indians, Brits and Americans, the stages last for days and weeks, not months on end. If you request information on the processing of your application, you receive responses that range from terse to curt to outright rude. There is no standard of service applicable everywhere, yet all spousal immigrants and their sponsors pay the same fees.
Another thing that makes the quick processing of some persons harder to take, is they still feel they have a right to moan about the length of the process. Really? You're surrounded by people separated from their spouses for months at a time, sometimes even as much as a year or more, and yet waiting 3 or 4 months is the end of your endurance? It smacks of a sense of entitlement that is an affront to those like myself who have to endure long separations. What makes it even worse is that many of the visa-exempt couples (those with British, German, Australian and American partners, among others) can actually reside together in Canada while their processing is being completed, so they are not separated AT ALL. So far as I am concerned, that means your right to complain about the process has been rescinded utterly and completely. Sit down and shut up.
On the other hand, there are those whose processing can last for more than a year, sometimes as much as two years, and they also moan about the process. While I am full cognisant of how hard it can be to be separated from your spouse, there are a few points that make it impossible for me to sympathise with these folks for too long:
- If you're from a country or region known for the wholesale approval and engagement of large segments of the population in terrorist activities or fraud, you have to realise you are going to be scrutinised longer and harder than anyone else. Sucks to be you, but whining about it won't make it go faster. As a Jamaican, I fully understand that many Jamaicans before me have committed serious crimes among other infractions of immigration laws, and therefore I am going to be tarred with that brush. While it is an insulting association, it is understandable and I cannot hold it against the Canadian authorities for wanting to make sure their citizens are safe before they admit me to their country.
- Being separated from your spouse does NOT make you special. There are many spouses who are separated for reasons other than immigration, they all have to deal with it, as do we. You don't miss your wife more than I miss my husband, I don't care how long you've been apart or how destined and fated and sacred your marriage is. My marriage is as special and precious to me as is yours to you, I don't care who blessed it, ordained it, convened it, whatever.
- I cannot abide whiners, personally. If there is nothing I can do about a situation, as with this, I accept that fact and I move on to things I can take action on and have control over. Complaining endlessly about this process gains me, what? I made a choice to do this, so did all of you. If you hate it that much, end the process and do something else. Quit whining about it to everyone who will read what you wrote, listen to you talk, whatever.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Progress
On May 9, we finally got the approval we had been waiting for. After 81 days, nearly 3 times the amount of time required for most of my Feb 2011 "batchmates", G was approved as a sponsor. The delay resulted from the need for additional provincial paperwork on him, and being as he lives in a small town it took some time before the request was fulfilled. Still, phase 1 is finally complete!
We got word on May 25 that as at May 19 my file had been transferred to the embassy here in Kingston. That is the beginning of phase 2, applicant approval. According to CIC's website, the embassy requires 17 months to complete 80% of immigration cases. When we started the process, it was at 15 months, so in 4 months, the timeline has lengthened by 2 months.
Based on the timelines of applicants in 2010 though, it may only take 8-10 months for phase 2 to be completed. On a forum I belong to for potential immigrants, Kingston has finalized cases for Jan-Jun 2010 in an average of 7.5 months. Since we got into the cases from the latter half of the year, the average has increased to somewhat more than 8 months. At that rate, we are looking at a winter 2011/12 arrival being a possibility.
For the time being, we have decided to submit additional "relationship proofs", since as at the time when the application was submitted we had been apart for almost 6 months. Since then G has visited twice, first for 25 days, now for 30 days. The evidence of additional contact goes toward showing we have remained in daily contact, as you would expect of a genuinely married couple.
For now, though, I'm just glad he's home again.
We got word on May 25 that as at May 19 my file had been transferred to the embassy here in Kingston. That is the beginning of phase 2, applicant approval. According to CIC's website, the embassy requires 17 months to complete 80% of immigration cases. When we started the process, it was at 15 months, so in 4 months, the timeline has lengthened by 2 months.
Based on the timelines of applicants in 2010 though, it may only take 8-10 months for phase 2 to be completed. On a forum I belong to for potential immigrants, Kingston has finalized cases for Jan-Jun 2010 in an average of 7.5 months. Since we got into the cases from the latter half of the year, the average has increased to somewhat more than 8 months. At that rate, we are looking at a winter 2011/12 arrival being a possibility.
For the time being, we have decided to submit additional "relationship proofs", since as at the time when the application was submitted we had been apart for almost 6 months. Since then G has visited twice, first for 25 days, now for 30 days. The evidence of additional contact goes toward showing we have remained in daily contact, as you would expect of a genuinely married couple.
For now, though, I'm just glad he's home again.
Friday, April 22, 2011
"In Process"
We got the process started in October 2010, when I sent off my fingerprints to the FBI in Virginia. Why the FBI, since I am immigrating to Canada? Each prospective immigrant is required to submit a police certificate for every country they have resided in for 6 months or more since age 18. As I had been in NY for almost a year and a half, I needed the clearance from the FBI as proof that I had been law-abiding in the US.
Seven weeks later, G received the results in Canada, as I had requested they send it directly to him. Dated Dec 3, they confirmed that I had no federal police record in the US. I was now on the clock, as the police certificates can be no more than 3 months old when your application is submitted.
I started gathering our relationship "evidence", proofs that we had a genuine, enduring relationship. Essentially, I had to audit our relationship and present the file to the immigration authorities in Canada, that's how I approached it. I had to present financial, legal and emotional evidence to prove I hadn't married G just so I could immigrate.
By mid-January I was about ready. I endured a medical examination which included a blood test (I hate needles) and a chest X-ray, went through the process for a Jamaican police certificate again, and finally got together letters from our friends and family in support of us.
With everything together, I handed off the package to FedEx, and suffered severe separation anxiety. After working on it for four months, I was not ready to be parted from that package, but I needed to let it go and have G add his own section, we had been apart for almost six months and we couldn't be together again until we had submitted the package and he got his replacement passport (long story).
We submitted the package on Feb 14, 2011, it was received on Feb 15 at the Case Processing Centre, and the clock started for stage one: sponsor approval. At the time it was taking about 37 days for that, so I was expecting we would hear something around Mar 15. When nothing happened by then, and others who filed at the same time or after were getting responses, I became alarmed. After a brief argument with G, I got him to inquire of the call centre what was going on, and finally we got a file number and our electronic Client Application Status service became active.
Aside from saying they had begun processing his application to sponsor me, nothing more has been added. No decision, which they are now issuing for applications filed in March, no advisory that they had returned our package for lack of some vital document or signature. Nothing more. Since G was here with me in Jamaica from the end of March until yesterday, we had no way of checking on it. Now that he's returned to Canada, as soon as the Easter holidays are done, we have to find out what's going on.
Seven weeks later, G received the results in Canada, as I had requested they send it directly to him. Dated Dec 3, they confirmed that I had no federal police record in the US. I was now on the clock, as the police certificates can be no more than 3 months old when your application is submitted.
I started gathering our relationship "evidence", proofs that we had a genuine, enduring relationship. Essentially, I had to audit our relationship and present the file to the immigration authorities in Canada, that's how I approached it. I had to present financial, legal and emotional evidence to prove I hadn't married G just so I could immigrate.
By mid-January I was about ready. I endured a medical examination which included a blood test (I hate needles) and a chest X-ray, went through the process for a Jamaican police certificate again, and finally got together letters from our friends and family in support of us.
With everything together, I handed off the package to FedEx, and suffered severe separation anxiety. After working on it for four months, I was not ready to be parted from that package, but I needed to let it go and have G add his own section, we had been apart for almost six months and we couldn't be together again until we had submitted the package and he got his replacement passport (long story).
We submitted the package on Feb 14, 2011, it was received on Feb 15 at the Case Processing Centre, and the clock started for stage one: sponsor approval. At the time it was taking about 37 days for that, so I was expecting we would hear something around Mar 15. When nothing happened by then, and others who filed at the same time or after were getting responses, I became alarmed. After a brief argument with G, I got him to inquire of the call centre what was going on, and finally we got a file number and our electronic Client Application Status service became active.
Aside from saying they had begun processing his application to sponsor me, nothing more has been added. No decision, which they are now issuing for applications filed in March, no advisory that they had returned our package for lack of some vital document or signature. Nothing more. Since G was here with me in Jamaica from the end of March until yesterday, we had no way of checking on it. Now that he's returned to Canada, as soon as the Easter holidays are done, we have to find out what's going on.
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Waiting
OK, so I probably should have updated this a long time ago. But here goes:
Early in September, I went to pick up my passport from the Canadian High Commission, and got a huge shock. My application for a temporary resident visa (TRV) was denied. I was in shock. I've never been denied a visa before, I provided evidence I was legally attempting to enter the country...but actually, all that evidence did was go against me! That I had a Canadian husband was proof, to them, that I might not return to Jamaica if told to do so.
So, I went home and handed the G the paper listing the reasons for my denial, and asked him what now? While I left him to think about that, I had to make a mad scramble to un-do all the cancellations of service, my resignation and most importantly, I had to find us a new place to live!
We finally found a new apartment on September 23, after looking at two possibilities in the same neighbourhood where I lived, and some others in other neighbourhoods. I decided on one close to the office, for a comparable rental but at a much "nicer" postal code. If I had to uproot myself from the place I had been comfortably established for the last 3 years, well, it needed to be a step-up.
Now we are looking at an "Outland" application for permanent residency, which is going to cost a great deal more, going to take a whole lot longer, and for which we will need medical, criminal and professional evidence that I qualify to immigrate as a member of the family class as a spouse.
G left Jamaica on Oct 6, 5 months after arriving here. It's been just over a month since he left, and I admit I never thought it was going to be this hard to live without him. I mean, I lived with him for 5 months compared to years on my own, surely I could just slip back into my former routine? But no, it's not that easy. I wake and wonder why he's not beside me, I cook meals he plans for me and wish he was here to do it instead because he did it so well, we talk on the webcam and the phone, and I ache to just touch his hand or kiss his face. Having known the joy of his presence I can't just pretend it never was.
So I just wait. I have a feeling I'm going to get very good at waiting before this process is over.
Early in September, I went to pick up my passport from the Canadian High Commission, and got a huge shock. My application for a temporary resident visa (TRV) was denied. I was in shock. I've never been denied a visa before, I provided evidence I was legally attempting to enter the country...but actually, all that evidence did was go against me! That I had a Canadian husband was proof, to them, that I might not return to Jamaica if told to do so.
So, I went home and handed the G the paper listing the reasons for my denial, and asked him what now? While I left him to think about that, I had to make a mad scramble to un-do all the cancellations of service, my resignation and most importantly, I had to find us a new place to live!
We finally found a new apartment on September 23, after looking at two possibilities in the same neighbourhood where I lived, and some others in other neighbourhoods. I decided on one close to the office, for a comparable rental but at a much "nicer" postal code. If I had to uproot myself from the place I had been comfortably established for the last 3 years, well, it needed to be a step-up.
Now we are looking at an "Outland" application for permanent residency, which is going to cost a great deal more, going to take a whole lot longer, and for which we will need medical, criminal and professional evidence that I qualify to immigrate as a member of the family class as a spouse.
G left Jamaica on Oct 6, 5 months after arriving here. It's been just over a month since he left, and I admit I never thought it was going to be this hard to live without him. I mean, I lived with him for 5 months compared to years on my own, surely I could just slip back into my former routine? But no, it's not that easy. I wake and wonder why he's not beside me, I cook meals he plans for me and wish he was here to do it instead because he did it so well, we talk on the webcam and the phone, and I ache to just touch his hand or kiss his face. Having known the joy of his presence I can't just pretend it never was.
So I just wait. I have a feeling I'm going to get very good at waiting before this process is over.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Another step forward
This update is a bit late, but that's because we went off on our honeymoon/vacation, finally!
Friday, July 30th, we got the paperwork submitted for G's extension on his landed status, and for my Canadian visitor's visa. It required that I dash out of the office and up the road to the Passport, Immigration and Citizenship agency, sign another form and add some more information to my application for the Canadian High Commission, and then smile at the Jamaican immigration officer who was examining G's papers to show her that, yes, he really is married, and the extension is necessary.
As of that date, both our passports were in the possession of each other's embassies, and we can now collect G's since we are back in Kingston, but there is another 2-4 weeks of waiting left for mine, as the CHC told us we would have my passport back in 4-6 weeks. That cuts it a bit fine on our departure date of September 30, but it's workable.
While we wait, there is time for me to finish up at work and hand over my various responsibilities (in progress), and on the personal side, time for us to give notice on the apartment (done), and notify the utility companies that September will be the last month I will need services at this location (pending), pack up the things I won't be taking (pending) after deciding what goes where (pending).
The adventure is on moving along! No, I'm not excited yet, I will be when I get my passport back with that extra page. No, I'm not nervous yet, I will be when it's time for take-off.
Friday, July 30th, we got the paperwork submitted for G's extension on his landed status, and for my Canadian visitor's visa. It required that I dash out of the office and up the road to the Passport, Immigration and Citizenship agency, sign another form and add some more information to my application for the Canadian High Commission, and then smile at the Jamaican immigration officer who was examining G's papers to show her that, yes, he really is married, and the extension is necessary.
As of that date, both our passports were in the possession of each other's embassies, and we can now collect G's since we are back in Kingston, but there is another 2-4 weeks of waiting left for mine, as the CHC told us we would have my passport back in 4-6 weeks. That cuts it a bit fine on our departure date of September 30, but it's workable.
While we wait, there is time for me to finish up at work and hand over my various responsibilities (in progress), and on the personal side, time for us to give notice on the apartment (done), and notify the utility companies that September will be the last month I will need services at this location (pending), pack up the things I won't be taking (pending) after deciding what goes where (pending).
The adventure is on moving along! No, I'm not excited yet, I will be when I get my passport back with that extra page. No, I'm not nervous yet, I will be when it's time for take-off.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Hurry up and wait
We've finally gotten to where we can submit my paperwork to the Canadian High Commission.
This past month has been nothing but feeling like we took two steps backward for every step forward. After we finally got the police record sorted, G got impatient with all the time it was taking to get the various pieces of paperwork ticked off on the checklist I downloaded from the CIC website.
When he visited the Commission, it was only for them to tell him that we needn't go through all the paperwork for my permanent residency now, because in any case it can't be issued here, they will only issue it when I am in Canada. Argh. They told us to simply apply for a temporary visa, which is good for periods of six months to a year, and apply for the permanent residency once we are settled in. Nice of them to tell us that after we've gone through all that time and expense!
So I filled out the paperwork, and waited for my salary to come in to make the payment at the bank for the visa. Having done that on Tuesday, I left the paperwork with G to drop them off, because he also needs to go to the Commission so his immigration stamp can be extended. Apparently the Immigration Officer who cleared him didn't believe he was coming to Jamaica to get married, so she gave him the minimum minimum stay of only 3 months. I was beyond insulted, on his behalf, because in the two trips I have taken abroad in the past year I have never been given a minimum stay of less than 6 months, I can't believe she would treat a visitor to our country with such suspicion!
Tomorrow he goes back, having gone there today and waited for more than 2 hours only to miss the opportunity to speak with a consular officer and submit my application. Apparently it was hugely busy there today. I am interested to know this, because I can't recall ever seeing the lines of people waiting outside that you typically see at say, the US embassy, outside the High Commission. Canada must be experiencing a rise in popularity among Jamaicans traveling abroad!
This past month has been nothing but feeling like we took two steps backward for every step forward. After we finally got the police record sorted, G got impatient with all the time it was taking to get the various pieces of paperwork ticked off on the checklist I downloaded from the CIC website.
When he visited the Commission, it was only for them to tell him that we needn't go through all the paperwork for my permanent residency now, because in any case it can't be issued here, they will only issue it when I am in Canada. Argh. They told us to simply apply for a temporary visa, which is good for periods of six months to a year, and apply for the permanent residency once we are settled in. Nice of them to tell us that after we've gone through all that time and expense!
So I filled out the paperwork, and waited for my salary to come in to make the payment at the bank for the visa. Having done that on Tuesday, I left the paperwork with G to drop them off, because he also needs to go to the Commission so his immigration stamp can be extended. Apparently the Immigration Officer who cleared him didn't believe he was coming to Jamaica to get married, so she gave him the minimum minimum stay of only 3 months. I was beyond insulted, on his behalf, because in the two trips I have taken abroad in the past year I have never been given a minimum stay of less than 6 months, I can't believe she would treat a visitor to our country with such suspicion!
Tomorrow he goes back, having gone there today and waited for more than 2 hours only to miss the opportunity to speak with a consular officer and submit my application. Apparently it was hugely busy there today. I am interested to know this, because I can't recall ever seeing the lines of people waiting outside that you typically see at say, the US embassy, outside the High Commission. Canada must be experiencing a rise in popularity among Jamaicans traveling abroad!
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)